


I Need You

by 1Prof_Dumblydore8



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Jealous Remus Lupin, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-19 22:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17010690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Prof_Dumblydore8/pseuds/1Prof_Dumblydore8
Summary: In light of the upcoming ball, Hogwarts students are in a mess as they run around and ask each other out. Sirius has the same thing on his mind but pulls a wrong move in asking his best friend out.





	1. Uh - Oh

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my tumblr, cyanmyhumour!

It had been a very normal day of listening to Sirius and James plot on ways Prongs should ask Lily out to Hogsmeade, as they made their way to Transfiguration class. 

 

"Could you be serious for once Pads? I really want her to say yes this time." James whined at Sirius as they turned yet another corner. "And by the way, I'm not going to chase her as Prongs down the corridors and then ask her out." They got into class and it was one of those rare occasions where Professor McGonagall was late to class. Taking this as an opportunity to continue their discussion, Sirius merely shrugged his shoulders and commented, "I'm just saying, she'll be far more pleased it was simply James Fleamont Potter and not some mental stag with a 'kill Evans kink' and she'll say yes because she did not get trampled by a deer that day." James simply scowled at Sirius and turned to Remus. "Say, Moony, you're wiser than all of us put together. What'd you say?" Remus replied after getting his quill and books out, "For the record, Pads, Lily would very well hex Prongs the moment he chased her." James then threw Sirius a 'I told you so' look, "And I'm no relationship expert but I'm sure a decent smile and polite, "Would you go out on a date with me to Hogsmeade," would be your one-way ticket to seeing Evans smile and say yes." Hearing this James clapped Remus on the back and turned to face the front of the class, seeing as Professor McGonagall had already entered.

Remus could tell Sirius was acting up that day as if he were anxious or maybe even nervous. Sirius Orion Black and nervous?? Never! But Remus could not help but think so by noticing Sirius's smallest actions, like how he was very jittery and kept biting his nails and as of now, Sirius was rapidly shaking his leg under his desk. He spoke lesser than usual and his mind was elsewhere. Remus blamed his knowledge of Sirius's usual actions to his keen eye, not thinking much of it.

Professor McGonagall's voice shook Remus out of his thoughts as she walked towards Sirius, seeing as he wasn't paying attention. "I would greatly appreciate, Mr Black, if you wouldn't send notes to your friends in the middle of my lesson. Now, I'm sure if you do have a message, the whole class should hear it as well." There were small chuckles from people around the class, knowing that Sirius was mischievous but Remus noticed that Sirius was trying his best to keep the note out of Professor McGonagall's reach. However, with a flick of her wand, the note went flying into her hands. Sirius's eyes went wide and his pupils shrank. The next words to escape Professor McGonagall's mouth sent Sirius running out of class.

"I love you Remus."


	2. Come Back To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus attempts to find Sirius and talk to him but feels a pang of hurt and jealousy when he finds Sirius with Marlene McKinnon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my tumblr, cyanmyhumour!

The rest of class was awkward silence with people glancing at Remus silently. Remus could feel the heat in his cheeks the whole class. He had no idea that Sirius felt that way about him...the same way Remus felt about Sirius. Once class was over he thought he'd be able to find Sirius in the common room but he was nowhere to be found. Thinking that he'd come around sooner or later they proceeded to Potions class but Sirius was not there either. 

In the midst of hearing Professor Slughorn blabber about amortentia, he saw Sirius making his way to the class with red, puffy eyes. Had Sirius been...crying? Had Sirius really been so affected by the incident? As he was about to step into class, Professor McGonagall intervened and she and Sirius strode off somewhere else. James seemed to have noticed this too as he locked contact with Remus in a question glance. Trying to seem indifferent about the whole issue, he merely shrugged his shoulders. Truth be told, he wanted to confess his feelings to Sirius and tell him that everything was alright.

As soon as lunch rolled around he proceeded to find Sirius in the 3rd level corridors while James and Wormtail searched for him near the Gryffindor common room. Remus was looking around, with a picture of Sirius's perfect face and sharp jaws and shoulder-length jet-black hair in his mind, he heard Sirius's voice; but it wasn't his voice that surprised him, it was who he was talking to that was the big shocker. 

"How did you even get your hands on Firewhiskey, Marley?!" Remus's heard the male ask in bewilderment. "I'm telling ya Siri..ussss!! We are meant to beee! Kiss me Sirius, tell me you love me Sirius's," Marlene pleaded, her words coming out slurred. "You're clearly drunk, McKinnon. Go rest and besides... I have my eyes on someone else," Sirius negotiated. Remus had never seen Sirius talk to someone this seriously before. "Ah come on Sirius!!" Marlene's loud cry shook Remus out of his thoughts. "That scarred,scruffy and nerdy prick is your eye candy? He's more like an eye sore!" 

Remus's face showed indifference to Marlene's words, but he could hear his heart break, even if it's been broken already, shattering into more stray pieces as tears pricked his eyes. Marlene was no one special to Remus and her words shouldn't have had such an effect on his soul but it did, nonetheless. Even if he heard a stranger talk lowly about himself, it would still hurt because words do. Sirius didn't say anything and had merely walked away from the drunk girl and Remus could tell by the footsteps that it was approaching his direction and so, Remus put on a fake facade and pretended to clash into Sirius as he turned the corner, as though he hadn't seen him there. 

"Sirius! Where were you? We've been so worried about you! Don't ever run off like that! James and Peter have been searching downstairs for you like crazy!" Remus chided the other boy, who surprisingly towered over him. Sirius did slowly grow to be the tallest Marauder. "Yeah, sorry about that, I..um..wanted to go to Potions but Professor McGonagall had to talk to me about some..uhh..stuff," Sirius explained, a faint blush over his cheeks. "Alright, lunch is almost over, do you plan to skip the whole day or actually do something productive, like attend classes?" Remus asked sacarsticaly. "Actually, I would very much prefer to skip today, sorry Remy, it's just people will laugh at me because of what..err.. happened earlier, ya know?" Sirius replied with a smirk on his face, trying to roll back (very poorly) into 'normal cocky Sirius' but Remus could hear a tinge of sadness, maybe, in his voice as he spoke.

"Rubbish! Fine, how about a pact? You attend classes and then we can have dinner in our common rooms tonight? No creepy crawly students to gossip or laugh at you. Honestly, Pads, it IS impossible for people to laugh at you, do you know that? You're the DIVA of Hogwarts!" Remus added in jokingly, and with complete honesty of course. After tonnes of consolation, Sirius still said no. Remus then held out his pinky finger as his last option. Sirius sighed and intertwined his pinky with Remus's, making a pinky promise and they spent the day going to classes and Sirius hiding behind James, ignoring other students (even though he didn't have to).

On their way to the Great Hall to grab dinner to munch on in their rooms, McKinnon had the audacity to stand in front of the Marauders and tell Sirius, "I apologise for earlier today, Siri. I wasn't really in the right mind. How about I catch you later at the Garden after dinner time?" Then she hugged Sirius (IN FRONT OF ME?) and whispered something in his ear and sent Remus a dirty look. After she trottled off, Sirius said he had to use the loo and would meet us in the common room afterwards. 

But Sirius didn't join Remus for dinner that night as promised. Sirius broke their pinky promise, something they treasured oh so dearly since first year. Remus felt so numb that night. Remus couldn't find a word for his painful emotions at the time but after awhile he knew what he was. 

Heartbroken.


	3. Believe Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius finds a way to apologise but who knew he'd mess up (once again) and confess his true feelings to Remus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So someone on Tumblr expressed how Marley McKinnon is the Queen of gays and should be with Dorcas and I apologise if some are not happy with Marley being the villian but in future works, I'll take note of this and make them a pairing :) 
> 
> Check out my tumblr, cyanmyhumour!

Sirius increased his footsteps to the point where he was already jogging at this point. Marlene's words kept ringing in his ears. "Meet me or you'll never see your furry friend again," she whispered, words laced with venom. He hated himself, more than ever, for delaying his dinner with Remus. Sirius promised to make it up to him as soon as he went back.

"Siri, I didn't expect you to actually come," her voice surprised Sirius as he was so deep in thought about Remus's face and their upcoming dat- uh dinner. "Listen, Marley, I have NO interest in you whatsoever. And this is NOT Mean Girls!" Sirius argued, exasperated. "What's Mean Girls?" "Oh, uhh, it's a muggle show. TECHNICALLY, my point is that the days of hating one another is over. I don't love you, I don't see you that way!" 

"But why Remus? Amongst everyone in this entire world, who fall at your feet, you fall for a twat! He buries his face in books all the time, is quiet all the time and practically erases himself off the surface of Hogwarts! He never supports any of the light-hearted pranks you and James conjure. And look at his face! It's horrifying! There's already so many scratches on his face, imagine his body! He's a freak! He's a freak, Sirius!"

That was it. Marlene had had enough to say. With that he practically felt a growl in his chest as he took menacing steps towards her. "Why Remus? Because I don't want just anyone who falls at my feet. I want Remus because he makes me work for what I want. Him. He buries his face in books all the time because he likes reading and studying. He knows how to embrace knowledge and that's one of the infinite reasons I admire him. You feel like he's quiet and that he's a no one but you're wrong! You don't see him like I do. His eyes light up when he calls my name. He blushes when someone praises him. He jokes as much as the rest of us do. I see all of him! His talk, his walk, his voice, his smile, his everything! He doesn't support dangerous pranks of ours because he cares for us and doesn't want us in detention all the time. All of us have scars but some of us have them on the inside. And Remus sees them. I don't want to imagine his body because I want him to show it to me one day and be confident of it. He may be a freak to you but not to me, because I see the battles he has to fight. I feel like I've seen everything of Remus but I want more! I want to be a bigger part of his life. Not just for this stupid ball! For the rest of my life, even after my last breath, I want to see more of Remus. Know what he's feeling every minute of the day. If you don't let me tell him how I feel, I'll never get to see all these. Everything that I want with him will always be a dream. I need him, I love him, want him, and I'll do anything and everything for him!" At this point, Sirius's voice was hoarse with tears spilling from his eyes, as years of words that he has always wanted to tell Remus flow out and he can't stop them.

There was a moment of silence, Sirius's heavy breathing the only sound between the two as tears continued to roll down his cheeks. "What if he doesn't feel the same Sirius?" Marlene asks, tears prickling her eyes as they grew more red and puffy. "Then I'll stay by his side, forever, so that he knows, it's okay. He still has his Sirius. His Paddy will always be with him, even if it's not the way I wanted it to be," Sirius whispered out the last words as he slid to his knees, hands covering his face and he sobbed silently. 

He heard Marlene's footsteps walk away from him, and he stayed in that position, too overwhelmed by the possibility of Remus rejecting him to move. He then felt warm fingers trail up his hands to remove them from his face. Sirius looked up with red puffy eyes and saw what he would call the living embodiment of beauty and grace. Remus was knelt opposite Sirius, his both hands cradling Sirius's face, with Sirius's hands on Remus's, both their foreheads leaning against each other. 

"I heard that Paddy. And it was music to my ears. I've never found the courage to say it to you. For years now, I've wanted to actually. But I was scared, scared you'd leave me. I love you Sirius," Remus gently told Sirius as he wiped the tears from Sirius's eyes. Remus then stood up and gestured Sirius to take his hand. Sirius did so and stood up so that he was looking down at Remus, both their hands intertwined with one another. 

Remus leaned in slowly, slowly and Sirius did the same, not wanting to scare Moony away. They were probably inches apart before Remus whispered, eyes lidded with lust and love at the same time, his breath tickling Sirius's lips, "I've actually never done this before, so lead the way Paddy." And with that Sirius crashed their lips. Remus's lips moved beautifully against Sirius's own; like they were dancing with each other. Remus bit gently onto Sirius's lower lip, asking for permission, to which Sirius allowed, by opening his mouth more and slipping his tongue in Remus's, exploring each crook and crevice, owning it; marking it as his own. 

When they ran out of air and pulled away, there was just two teenage boys standing in the garden at 11pm in the night, who just kissed the love of their life, each other. Sirius's hand was at the small of his beloved's back and one caressing Remus's cheeks. One of Remus's hands were on Sirius's chest, the other tangled in Sirius's black hair. Sirius kissed down his lover's neck and whispered, just loud enough for both of them to hear, against his adam apple.

"I need you, Remus."

"I love you too Paddy," Remus replied lovingly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I'm sorry about out pinky promise by the way. Can we still have dinner?" Remus chuckled and led them to their dorm rooms.

I guess you can say that all ended well and they had a blast at the ball with a little distraction towards the end.


End file.
